Halsey is opening more about the traumatic experience of having a miscarriage while performing on stage when they were just 20 years old.
The "Bad at Love" singer appeared on the Tuesday (August 6) episode of the SHE MD podcast for a vulnerable discussion with podcast co-hosts OBGYN Dr. Thais Aliabadi and women's advocate Mary Alice Haney, where they spoke more about miscarrying "during a concert" when they were younger, revealing they "started miscarrying before the show," per People. During the chat, the 29-year-old musician shared why they went through with the concert rather than canceling the show.
"And I was in a really tough position because it was really early on in my career and there was a lot attached to the show," they recalled. "There was a corporate partner, there was a greater media entity partner, but more importantly than that to me, there [were] a thousand kids who waited all day long to get into this show and see me."
The MaXXXine star said they "ended up just putting on an adult diaper" and performed for around 45 minutes, but the performance ended up taking a physical toll on their body, as the singer revealed they threw up in the parking lot after getting off the stage.
"I went to a hotel and I was sick all night. I remember sitting in the bathtub because I just didn't know what to do with all the blood," they said, adding that they were bleeding for hours. "And then waking up at 5 or 6 in the morning to get on another airplane to go to Canada."
The experience led to a lot of "complex feelings" of relief, guilt and grief as Halsey "didn't want to be pregnant" at the time given she was "way involved in my career." The "Without Me" singer, now a parent to 3-year-old son Ender with ex Alev Aydin, said she "[remembers] thinking to myself, 'I'm just 20 years old. I should be able to carry a baby."
"And I just remember feeling like, 'I don't know who to talk to about this,' because at the time, the only stories about miscarriage that I had heard were from women who were happily married," Halsey said. "And they most of the time would speak about it after they had successfully conceived and carried to term and been like, 'So this happened before this.' It was just a world of information that [wasn't] accessible to me, I just felt so alone."
Elsewhere in the episode, Halsey spoke about their experience with chronic illness as she has been diagnosed with conditions like endometriosis and lupus. The "Lucky" singer revealed earlier this summer that they had been privately battling multiple secret illnesses after being diagnosed in 2022 with lupus and a rare T-cell disorder.