Ten Worst People You Encounter @ Concerts

Live music's the best! But some concert attendees can be the worst, write LA Weekly, referring specifically to these 10 types:

  1. The "this show sucks but I don't wanna give up my spot" guy. At  almost every show, there's at least one dude (and it's usually a dude)  standing square in the middle of the dance floor or that sweet spot  about 10 feet in front of the sound board. His arms are folded and  there's a scowl etched on his face that looks like it's been there since  the Clinton administration. Who is this guy? Why doesn't he just leave?  Could he at least move to the back and not be such a flagrantly  positioned fart in human form? Presumably he works in the music  industry, or he's a critic, or maybe he's a bitter, washed-up musician  who takes perverse pleasure in going to shows and sending "you suck"  vibes in the general direction of more successful bands. Whoever he is,  he's part of a sourpuss army that inexplicably goes to way too many  shows.
  2. The selfie squads. Listen, I get that we live in a  "pics or it didn't happen" world. But when one quick group shot would  have sufficed, you're now 20 photos deep in an orgy of narcissism, pouty  lips and faux gang signs. Trust me, your fellow Snapchatters aren't  that impressed with how close you got to the stage or how on fleek your  outfit is. And yeah, I bet you still say "on fleek.
  3. The bro patrols on the prowl. Contrary  to popular belief among certain male members of our society, single  women do not go to concerts looking to hook up. A lot of them are  actually just really into the music! Which means they're super-duper not  into repeatedly declining your crew's offer to buy them shots.
  4. The chatterboxes.  Yelling in your friends' ears at loud concerts is fun and I heartily  endorse it. When you offer to get your pal a drink and he replies,  "Yeah, I'd love to see Drake!" — it's high-larious. But when the band  breaks out a quiet ballad and everyone goes on yelling at each other —  including your pal, who is now loudly telling you about this awesome  "Fake Love" remix he just heard — well, it kinda makes you feel sorry  for bands who still insist on playing ballads in this shrill, shouty  world of ours.
  5. The people shooting video on the phones the whole time. So  here's a thing no one in human history has ever actually said: "Dude,  I'm so bummed I missed the show last night! Can I watch your shaky video  with its blown-out sound and pretend I was there?" Put down your phone  for two seconds, Tarantino. All you're documenting is your inability to  live in the present.
  6. The vape chimney. I don't care that it's vapor, not smoke — it's still gross and it's still obscuring my view of the stage.
  7. That one guy who keeps unsuccessfully trying to start a mosh pit. Chill out, bro. You're at an Interpol concert, not Warped Tour circa 1997.
  8. The couple who are way more into each other than the music. All  you happy concert couples holding hands and sharing the occasional  smooch? Adorable! Let your love light shine, you crazy kids. But when  holding hands turns to groping and smooches turn to tongue wrestling,  you're just making it awkward for the rest of us.
  9. Anyone who yells "Free Bird."  You know that stuff stopped being funny since before Allen Collins  died, right? And if you don't know who Allen Collins is, you really have  no business yelling "Free Bird," even if you happen to be at an actual  Lynyrd Skynyrd concert.
  10. The tall dude who shows up right as the band starts playing. You've  staked out a prime vantage point and guarded it with sharp elbows and a  wide stance through the entire opening act and changeover. Now here  comes the headliner you've waited months to see — and five seconds into  their first song, a shaved Sasquatch appears out of nowhere and posts up  directly in front of you. Not cool, Stretch, not cool.

Source:  LA Weekly